As a parent, it is your responsibility to train your child on how to be obedient. First-time parents may have a hard time developing obedience to their kids. If you are one of them, you should not worry about anything. This post is written to help parents who struggle to impose obedience on their children.
Obedience is one of the crucial characteristics every kid should acquire. Unfortunately, many parents are struggling to let their kids see the importance of obeying commands immediately. Teaching children how to be obedient requires lots of reminding, constant practice, and training.
No matter how good the curriculum is, it will remain ineffective to a kid who does not know what obedience is. A child should develop the habit of obedience at an early age. So, act as their teacher.
Main Causes of Child Disobedience
There is no doubt that as a child grows older, he tries to disobey the commands of their parents. They are doing this to test the expectations and guidelines of their parents. Aside from that, slight disobedience to parent’s wishes is a part of growing up.
Many kids think that by defying their parents, they achieve a sense of independence, freely share their thoughts about something, and discover and learn more about their lives. As they continue to spread their wings of freedom and try to have simple problems with their parents, they also start to know their limitations as well as their parent’s house rules and regulations.
On the other hand, this simple problem may lead to more frequent disturbances. Aside from that, it can be the starting point where the interaction between the kids and their parents starts to lessen. There are several causes behind the child’s disobedience. In some cases, it may be because of their parents’ expectations that they think is unreasonable. This problem may also be linked to how the child performs in school, his temperament, or family problems.
Even though you are using the best strategy to teach your child how to obey, it will not work if you will not be consistent. Remember that consistency is the key to solve the behavior problems of a kid. It is the key to open the door for your child to acquire obedience properly. There is no doubt that imposing rules, giving consequences to each wrong done by a child, and setting boundaries constantly is a hard job.
As a parent, you must know how many times your kids have disobeyed your commands before you scold or give them practical consequences. When scolding them, make sure to do it every time they do something wrong. Parents should correct the bad habits of their children as early as possible. So, while they are young, you should teach them how to be a good person. Let them acquire important traits, such as obedience.
Reasons Why Disobeying
To help parents teach their kids to obey their commands right away, it is essential to know the possible reasons why they disobey.
As mentioned, there are several reasons behind the defiance of a kid. Some of them are the following:
The tension roaming inside the house may also affect or encourage the child to disobey. These include discipline issues, financial tensions, tension with the neighbors, tension with other relatives, and different situations that can cause stress.
An Unknown Reason
In some cases, kids are more likely to defy the commands of their parents because of the previous or current situations they experienced, heard, or witnessed that parents don’t know. For instance, relationship issues with their peers, problems at school, and sexual abuse of their sibling or the child.
A Strong Will
Some kids will probably disobey their parents because of their strong will, rebellious nature, or stubbornness. In some cases, children are more likely to exercise their strong choice despite the proper guidance of their parents.
After knowing their reasons for disobeying, it is time to determine the perfect timing and situation to teach them how to obey the first time.
Consequences for not Obeying
Every kid out there should know the possible consequences if they do not obey their parents. Adults understand kids who find it hard to follow their parents. But, they should also comprehend that parents set their boundaries or tell them to do something for their own good.
Keep in mind that each lousy thing you do has its consequences that you need to face later. Kids who disobey their parents are more likely to find themselves in a bad situation that could lead them to suffer from different consequences.
But for parents, it is vital to give consequences that are reasonable for what their kids have done.
Self-control is an important characteristic of every parent out there. You cannot teach your child how to control their behavior in front of other people if you cannot control yourself.
For instance, if you and your kid are in a public place and start to disobey your command to stay beside you, control yourself to avoid scolding them in front of many people as it would negatively affect their emotions. But this does not mean that you will disregard their bad attitude of defying your wishes. The best place to correct their bad behavior is at home. Talk to them and let them understand that what they did before is not good.
Tips for First Time Obedience
Obedience is one of the first things parents should teach their kids. Most parents find it difficult to teach their kids to obey their wishes the first time.
As a parent, there are several tips that you can do to help your kids develop obedience. If you trained to repeat all your instructions to your kids before they obey them, you are conditioning your child to disregard your command for the first time they listen to it.
An obedient child learns from the example of an obedient parent.
With that in mind, the following are some practical tips for obedience training for the first time. Read on to know further.
Get Their Attention
You are just wasting their time telling their instructions to your kids who are not attentive to what you say. Make sure that your kid’s attention is entirely focused on you when you are giving them commands. In case that they are playing or doing something else, ensure to get their attention before spouting off your instructions.
This is effective in ensuring that they understand what you want them to do. Aside from that, you are helping them become more responsible and accountable in executing your instructions after hearing them the first time.
Do not Say Your Instructions More than Once
If you are sure that your kids are attentive to what you are saying to them and still do not follow your commands, that is a form of defiance. Consequences are always present whether they defy or obey. The result will depend on their choice.
As mentioned, saying your commands several times will condition your children to disregard your instructions. Take note that an attentive kid hears and listens to what you are saying. If he chooses to defy your command, give him a reasonable consequence, but do not ever repeat your wishes more than once.
Impose Ground Rules and Follow Consistently
Kids must be aware of the rules and regulations in the family and home. For example, if your kid answers you disrespectfully, let them know that it is a big NO in your house rules. Also, you must give them reasonable consequences. Do not give them second chances or compromises. Ensure that the consequences you will enforce are appropriate and should be done consistently. By doing so, your kids will not defy your instructions anymore, knowing the consequences they will face if they do so.
Give Them Clear Instructions
Before giving commands to your kids, think about it first. Ensure that the words you will use are sensible and will not contradict your kids.
Aside from that, you should also prevent yourself from giving hypocritical commands. Your kids will do what you want them to do if they understand your instructions.
Teach Obedience by Doing Some Fun Games
Obedience is an essential characteristic that will help kids become better people as they grow. You don’t always need to be serious in teaching your kids obedience. There are some creative ways you can do to help them acquire your desired characteristic.
You can teach obedience by playing fun games, such as the following:
- Red light, green light
- Silverware game
- Stand up for dinner
- Simon says
- Laundry toss
- Follow the leader
- Guess the leader
- Draw a picture
At What Age Should a Child Listen?
As early as five years old, most children can understand what they are saying and what others say to them.
Is It Okay to Yell at Your Child?
Yelling at your child when they do something wrong does not do any good to his mental and emotional health. Many studies conclude that yelling and hitting your child have the same impact. Yelling at your kid can cause them to develop strange behavior.
How Do You Discipline a Child Without Hitting or Yelling?
There are lots of ways you can do to discipline a kid apart from yelling or hitting them. A lot of parents think that hitting or yelling at their child is the best way to improve their kid’s behavior. This kind of disciplinary strategy is effective for a short time. A child who is frequently yelled at and spanked by his parent is more likely to show behavioral problems.
Listed below are some practical ways to discipline a child without spanking or yelling at them:
- Ignore mild misbehavior, such as complaining or whining to get your attention.
- Teach them new skills
- Use logical consequences
- Give rewards and praise them for executing something good.
What Happens if You Don’t Discipline Your Child?
Discipline plays an essential role in the overall growth, well-being, and happiness of a child. Like a person’s basic needs (love, mental and physical exercise, nutritious foods), discipline affects how a child develops. If you do not discipline your kids at an early age, they may find it hard to navigate life challenges and relationships, including peer cooperation, respect for others, and self-discipline.
To sum it up, how you discipline and teach your kids to be obedient is essential to their overall growth. You don’t need to yell or spank your child to change or improve their lousy behavior.
One of the best ways to teach discipline and obedience to your kids is to stay calm. By doing so, you can reach out to your kids calmly and without losing your temper when they began to exhibit bad behavior.