Blog Archives

Invisible Mom

September 6, 2012

Invisible Mom | MothersCircle.netYesterday was a day of Mom-frustration and I felt invisible. I wondered, did I actually speak those words or did I just think them? Because if I did say them out loud, they made no difference . The regular expectations we’ve had in our family for years didn’t matter, they went ignored. And really, how many times can I be expected to repeat something calmly before there’s action, or screaming? I felt completely invisible.

Years ago I read a poem called I’m Invisible and boy did it resonate with me, I printed it and have it saved in a book I keep of special quotes and notes. Our job as Moms, by nature, cannot be appreciated or valued by our children. Not until they have children of their own, that’s when we may get some recognition for having done well. We don’t become Moms, though, for recognition or acknowledgement, we do it for the relationships we build with our children. We do it from a place of selfless, boundless love.

I love the expression that with young children, the days are long but the years are short, it’s just so true. However, within those long days, within a Mother’s love, there lies annoyance, aggravation and sheer head-pounding frustration. It’s the reality of raising children.

Confident Parenting

July 10, 2012

Sure, there are times we parents find ourselves rattled, off our game or plain old stumped, but it’s at those times, we need to seek resources and find our mojo to return to confident parenting. Parenthood begins in pregnancy and evolves as our kids grow. The main goal in parenting boils down to raising future […]

Where do Babies Come From, Mommy?

July 3, 2012

Where do Babies Come From, Mommy

I love this question! How do you answer the question, “Where do babies come from?” when your child asks? I must confess that I am a “birth junkie,” as a childbirth educator and doula, my career has evolved into all-things-baby.

As a parent, it’s important to answer the tough question of where babies come from in a factual and age appropriate way. The discussion of conception and birth shouldn’t be a one time only talk, but instead a conversation that begins basic and young which grows and builds as your children grow, too.

I believe in honest and accurate answers when our kids come to us with questions, any questions. The more consistently you do that for your children, starting when they are very little, the more you are building a foundation of trust and openness. Most parents encourage their children to come to them with problems, questions and fears as they grow up and most parents strive and hope for this relationship and culture of openness to continue into the teen years and beyond. Being truthful, answering questions you may be uncomfortable with and finding out answers to things you’re unsure of will all go a long way in nurturing parent-teen communication.

Where do babies come from? To answer this tough question from inquisitive kids, I would first consider the age of the child asking.

Math Kisses

May 29, 2012

bedtime math

A babysitter when I was about eight years old first introduced me to the song.
It’s a silly little ditty:

“Good Night, Leah,
Good Night, Leah,
Good Night, Leah,
It’s time to go to bed,
Boop Boop!”

and she accented the “boops” with her hips as she left my doorway.

 

When Ali was little, I sang it to her and soon it was a regular part of our bedtime routine. Over the years (Ali is now 13) and through three children, the song has grown, changed and evolved. Each child has added his or her own individual enhancements. A second verse bloomed, “I love [insert kids’ name here], I love [kid sings Mommy/Daddy as parent sings kid’s name], I love [you get the idea], it’s time to go to bed, boop boop.” Michael now says “wee-ooo” instead of “boop boop,” we sing the names of everyone in the family (and our bird, Piper) and new phrases have crept in (“I love Ali, so much, I love Michael, so much…”)

As the song has lengthened, perhaps initially to delay the actual bedtime, it has remained a special part of ending the day. I don’t know how or when, but years ago, Anna (our youngest who just turned eight) began giving two kisses in between each phrase and instead of the boop boops. One night I realized she was counting the kisses on her fingers, we would end up with 16 kisses and run out of fingers, and then we always had to kiss four more times to get to an even 20.

I suggested she count by twos using one finger for each pair of kisses, so Anna started learning and practicing counting by twos. We added a challenge and I’d give her one kiss before singing and she’d need to count by twos on the odd numbers.

The Value of Postpartum Support

March 10, 2010

postpartum depression help, support after babies, help with twins, help with newborns, postpartum doulaWhat does postpartum really mean? Is the work of postpartum completed in six weeks? Two months? Five months? Is there a “right” time to have mastered your new role as parent or your new role as parent of two, three, twins? Why do families need postpartum support?

Postpartum, the time period often defined as the time it takes for the uterus to contract (involute) back to it’s pre-pregnancy size or six weeks, really lasts much longer and involves so much more than the physical restoration of the uterus.

The disparity between expectations and the reality of a newborn can leave parents feeling out of control of their lives. Even with appropriate expectations, for example, adding a second or third child to the family, the time intensive requirements of caring for a newborn can clearly be challenging.

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